Monday, May 22, 2006

"First Secure Our Borders"

Sen. George Allen will will no longer be called George "Goober" Allen. Henceforth, Howling Latina will call him by his name proper.

Sen. George Felix Allen.

And what an appropriate name for him.

It seems Allen took the political playbook right out of Felix movie scripts and has much in common with the feline hero.

Yes, both the senator and his feline namesake lived a storied life in California; and "Felix in Hollywood" became enraged Felix in "Felix Misses His Swiss," which invariable led to delusional "Felix Dines and Pines."

Both Felixes are a calamity waiting to happen!

In the latest tale, Felix the senator growls, "Secure them borders," but has no real game plan (to borrow from his gamely metaphors) on how to do so.

In a press release last Wednesday, he shared with the public:
"My mother came to this country legally after World War II from Tunisia. I personally realize that America is a nation of immigrants. We are also a nation of laws and should remain both. As we go forward in this debate, my guiding principle continues to be that we must first and foremost secure our borders because I believe that a nation that can not control its own borders can not control its own destiny."
But my dear Felix, you must have had way too much catnip, for building a wall is no way to keep out illegals, they'll just build a tunnel.

Now if all you GOPers really want to close the nation's borders and stymie the monsoon of illegal immigrants, how about some prison time for the fat cats who employ them?

This is no cat and mouse game; it's quite simple.

Every employer deducts social security and then sends the funds to the Social Security Administration; and every year, the federal government notifies employers of workers who do not match their listed social security number.

Now an invalid social security number usually means one of two things: either the number was inadvertently copied down wrong; or the worker is using somebody else's social security number.

So for every fat cat who habitually submits, let's say more than 100 wrong social security numbers a year, the government audits them; and if they find illegal aliens working, they fine them; and if the company is fined more than once, it's mandatory prison time for the corporate fat cats.

Now that's what you call real immigration reform; and real truth in sentencing law. But dollars to fresh cream, our tomcat about the nation would never support such a bill.

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