Monday, May 29, 2006

The Da Vinci Bore

After all the hoopla about the Da Vinci Code, Howling Latina yesterday went to see the movie.

And guess what?

The movie critics are right. Save your $$$$$.

The movie is way too long, way too preposterous and way too boring, with plot gaps wide enough to drive an entire brigade of monastery monks.

Trying to live up to the much hyped and overwhelmingly successful previous model set by "The Passion of Christ," gratuitous blood and gore is immediate and lasting.

In the opening scene, a robed man brutally kills an older man at the Louvre Museum in Paris; and the audience gets to see him lying on the floor naked for the first 30 minutes or so.

Now without giving the inanely absurd story line away, suffice it to say the rest of the movie is filled with a montage of highly dubious characters and plot arcs with contrived music of crescendo and decrescendo fade-outs, which only serve to underscore the unintentional suspense in the action: When will this trash of a movie finally be over?

Folks, don't be alarmed if the person next to you whispers some jocular aside to you; this cliché-filled movie is a tedious grind to sit through.

Well, I enjoyed it, but I was a bit uncomfortable because several times I found something funny, laughed outright, and nobody else did. Bad timing on my part...
The book was much better. But I suspect it was the ideas, which were unusual to many, that fueled its popularity.

I'd read Holy Blood, Holy Grail, and Margaret Starbird's books on the same topic years ago. Those books basically make the same claim that Jesus married Mary Magdalen and they founded a dynasty. A small group of Europeans have kept alive this secret, which the Vatican tries to suppress.

I thought Da Vinci Code used those ideas creatively in a thriller. But it's fiction folks.

Sorry the movie was boring. But that's not uncommon with over hyped blockbusters. They often don't translate well from their original book form.
Exactly. Sometimes less is BETTER.

Like in "Bourne Identity."

Also, it didn't help to have caricatures as actors, and that especially includes the character of Sophie Neveu.

At the beginning, the actress had such a thick accent you could hardly make out what she was saying. By the end of the movie, you'd almost think she was American.
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