Thursday, November 02, 2006

Another Phony Evangelical Leader...

In breaking news, the Denver Post reports that Rev. Ted Haggard, founder of New Life Church in Colorado Springs resigned as senior pastor after a male prostitute called a Denver talk radio show yesterday and revealed that Haggard had been a client of his for the past three years.

Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals, an alliance of 60 member denominations that represent 45,000 churches across America, denied any wrongdoing, however, the reported evidence is stunning.

The former prostitute, Mike Jones, 49, of Denver, went public with the accusations on Tuesday, saying he felt compelled to do so because he believes Haggard, a strong opponent of same-sex unions, has been hypocritical. Haggard is married with five children.

"I made myself cry and I made myself sick,"

Jones said about his decision to come forward. "I felt I owed this to the community. What he is saying is we are not worthy, but he is."

Jones says he was contacted three years ago by Haggard for sex - he thinks through a gay newspaper advertisement or an online ad he posted on

Today, Jones showed the Denver Post an envelope addressed to him from "Art," a name Jones says Haggard used - sent from an address in Colorado Springs. Jones said the envelope came to him with two $100 bills inside.

Jones also played a recording of a voicemail left for Jones from "Art." Jones refused to reveal what the topic of the voicemail was about because there could be legal problems and he wants to consult with an attorney.

"They want to protect the sanctity of marriage and I am trying to figure out what that means because they are not doing a good job," Jones said of anti-gay marriage proponents. "To have someone in such a high profile position preaching against them and doing opposite behind other people's backs is hypocritical."

Hypocritical, nah, perish the thought!

In response to the maelstrom, New Life Church released a press release announcing that Haggard was voluntarily stepping aside; you see, the false accusations against him have made it impossible for this man of God "to continue to minister" to the faithful flock.

Ted, and Howling Latina feels she can call you by your first name since you're both seekers of the Word, take time off; seek all the "spiritual counsel" your little gay heart desires and needs; no doubt, this "voluntary" hiatus will only serve to strengthen your spirit.

And if you need any kind words of encouragement, call Brother Jim Baker or Brother Jimmy Swaggard. Both men have strong testimonials about the love of fellow Christians to sustain you when the enemy attacks by way of Jezebel, condos and gay love.

In the meantime, please remember to allow a few minutes from your busy schedule of daily devotionals and spiritual introspection to cast the all-important anti-gay initiative in Colorado's ballot in five days. Remember the wise words of the gentle lady from Colorado, America is being attacked by the enemy whose "gay marriage agenda is the most important issue facing the United States of America."

Oh yes, my dear GOP gay batwings, thou doth indeed protest way, way too much. Indeed, this latest tale from Colorado proves just how prophetically right Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave was in an unfathomable way she could've never envisioned.

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